The Pursuit of Peace
“I realize that the pursuit of peace is not as dramatic as the pursuit of war… But we have no more urgent task” John F. Kennedy – June 1963 Commencement address at American University
Graduation and Memorial Day provide two opportunities to think about the future and what we’d be willing to fight for.
As JFK points out, the pursuit of peace is not only an option, it can be an urgent option. In a divorce, the pursuit of peace is not for your ex, the lawyers, not even for your children (although it is critical for their future as well).
The pursuit of peace is for you!
Divorce puts emotions on high alert so it’s natural to feel threatened. As humans we often make different decisions when we’re feeling threatened than we do when we’re feeling confident and safe.
Certainly there are situations where someone is in real danger when going through a divorce. But many times, the feeling of threat comes from within; which means we have the power to work through that feeling and regain a sense of self.
We have the choice to look at each situation to find opportunities to pursue peace.
So what do you get when you pursue peace?
First, you put yourself in a solutions mindset; continually looking for ways to address issues as they arise rather than looking for additional problems to add to the list of complaints.
Second, the pursuit of peace provides hope and helps you achieve the vision you’ve created for your future. I feel confident saying this because it would be rare for someone to create a personal future vision that involves an on-going war with their ex.
When designing our future vision we typically include the things we want in our lives, our dreams, and our goals. Likewise, we have the power to not drag our baggage with us as we design our future.
Third, you set a positive example for those watching you – your children, those you mentor, other family members, etc. These folks will see you fight for what you believe in, but they also see your end game as peace not victory over your enemy. There is a significant difference.
The road may still be tough, and the choices along the way certainly will be, but with peace as the goal, you put yourself and your family on a healing path.