Why the “why” doesn’t matter
There are so many times in the divorce process, and beyond, that you may wonder why your ex made the decisions he/she did.
You may lie awake at night thinking:
Why did he get angry about that?
Why is she lying about me?
Why is he sleeping around?
You may feel that if you knew the “why” you would know how to respond better.
But I have to tell you - the “why” doesn’t matter.
What matters is who you are and what you think is right.
Yep. This is another opportunity to put the focus back on you.
You only have so much energy and using it to churn on an unknowable question wastes your precious time.
In a divorce, just as in life in general, you are never going to know all the reasons why. Instead you are going to waste time and energy on something you can never really know.
What will truly make you feel better is figuring out what you want to do about the situation, if anything.
So he got angry. Just let him try to rattle you.
So she lied. You know the truth. You know who you are.
So he’s sleeping around. You don’t have to worry about his private life anymore.
You get to choose if you react.
You get to choose how you react. And that is all that matters.
The next time you feel yourself getting sucked into the ‘why’ vortex stop and think:
- Define the situation or issue.
- How do I feel about it?
- What is most important to me?
- Do I want to respond and, if so, what outcome do I want?
You don’t need to share the answers with anyone, but thinking through what you want and writing it down helps to ground you and solidify your thoughts
Bottom line, divorce can be like a baseball game; see the pitch come in slow and don’t swing at a pitch in the dirt! Swing when you choose.
I’m so excited as I have something brand new to share with you!
When life gets the better of you, it can be so easy to fall into a funk. I know that humor may be the last thing on your mind right now, but I want to share an exercise with you that helped me through those tough times.
This free download is designed to take you from scared and threatened to calm and confident very quickly.
Click here to download "How to Find and Use Humor to Heal From Your Divorce.
Because it’s time. Your future is calling. I’m here to help you make it bright!