I have found in my coaching practice that the road to divorce recovery is not straight.

You can be moving forward one minute and then out of nowhere something happens and the road becomes bumpy, unfamiliar, tough to navigate. Perhaps:

Your ex refuses to pay for something he initially agreed to.
Your kids are invited along on a trip with a new woman (whom you don’t know) and her kids.
Your children incur a new situation, such as approaching college, and you need to discuss financial obligations with your ex.

Yep. The road to recovery can be rough. But try not to worry.

It’s kind of like if you were knitting an afghan and came across a knot in the yarn, you’d pause, untie the knot and keep going.

But you’re not an afghan, you’re a real person and when you’ve been moving forward and suddenly come across a knot or two or three it can make you wonder if you are slipping back to the beginning where it was SO BAD.

Or, you may have untangled one knot and are feeling pretty good about things - only to incur a huge and unexpected knot that knocks you off your feet.

And when that happens it can make you put up your guard, feel defensive and downright helpless.

But that’s not how it is.

You CAN undo the knots (and prevent more knots down the line) WHILE you continue knitting the pretty afghan of your life!

Before you think, yeah right, Chris! Just keep reading…

Knots are common. Even 2 years, 5 years or 15 years down the road.

Everyone incurs them.

And my wish for you is:

Don’t let them stop you.
Don’t let them make you build your wall up again.

Expect that they will happen and when they do, here’s a tool you can use: Connect with your own vision for the future.

I want you to get clear on what the next 3-5 years of your life looks like.

Paint as detailed a picture as you can, such as

Who do you want to be as a parent?
What does your career look like?

What types of relationships are in your life (friends, romantic partners, extended family, etc).

What are important events for you (trips/kid activities, etc)

Then use this vision to guide your decisions.

Keep it close in your mind as you are responding to situations with your ex, with your children and more.

When you do that, you can take that other person out of the equation and make decisions based on YOU and what you think is best.

You can stop worrying about “what is fair” or “what is right” and be the parent, friend, employee you want to be.

(And if you are saying to yourself ‘yes but what if my ex hates my decision?! What do I say to him? That’s normal too and I’m not suggesting you don’t think about that. It’s just that once you decide what you want, THEN you can layer back in how to best communicate that to your ex - in a clear way)

How are you doing in your healing process?

Any knots you want to discuss? The Empowered Divorcee Coaching Program is a chance to get the tools needed to get yourself planted on solid ground and to bring out the best of who you are.

It’s time. Your future is calling.

I’m here to help you make it bright!

How to untangle the knots after divorce.